A dream of you.

Sometimes I wake up, imagining you were holding me. Of course, you aren't there. You won't be.

Caresses, warmth, and more only exist within my imagination.

You are not real.

That doesn't stop me though- stop me from picturing you.

All hard angles, softer curves. A voice I haven't heard, but I can imagine- rumbling in my mind and my heart.

I lay my head on your chest to feel closer to you.

I can almost feel it- the sensation of me running my fingers through your hair.

You transfix me. Your eyes- they see right through me.

I awaken then- you are always just beyond my fingertips.

I swear, I swear I wake up with the feeling of your breath, you saying my name.

I rub the sleep from my eyes, and you're gone.

n.d.

A world apart.

You don't know me. I don't think you ever will.

Your expectations of me, I could never meet. 

We had an accord early, it's true. 

Then I couldn't trust you. 

Over and over.

I tried. I tried to be better.

I should have read into my guarding. 

Read into my lacking.

Read into so many things.

We could never find a rhythm. 

From one step, to the next, and back again.

I'm not afraid of failing. I do it often.

I still don't know why it feels different- failing you. 

But fail I did- and now it's gone.