My significant other "hit" list

            Recently I’ve had more than one person ask me what I want in a significant other. Truth- I was stumped. I had to sit and really think about it. I’ve always made fun of other women who had lists of the qualities they wanted in their dream person. Really, a list? Who can live up to that? Yet the more I think about it, the more I realize maybe I should have some idea of what I expect, of myself and of them. So here I go- this is what I want. I think. Frick.

-I want someone who appreciates me for all the randomness I bring to the table. I’m a woman who can rehab your injury, and cook you dinner. I read Shakespeare, I love musicals, but I hate sharing my feelings. I’m not touchy-feely, yet my entire job has to do with touch. I love doing laundry, hate touching dishes. I work out, but eat like a dick. I’ll empty my bank account for you, but don’t you dare do the same for me. It doesn’t matter how many degrees and certifications I get, I still have a complex that I may not be smart enough. I could keep going, but I think you get the idea.

-I want someone who doesn’t want to fit me in a box. I’m me- this is the way I was packaged. Stop being attracted to me for the way I am, then asking me to make drastic changes to fit your idea of a dream girl. I will not give up my leggings, go on a diet, change my hair, and stop cussing for you. I know when to be appropriate, so get over yourself. Hint- I fell for you for the way you are, ya pain in my ass.

-Understand that if I decide you are someone who is important to me, then there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. You think I’m joking? Ask any of my closest friends. I’ll give you the world and back again. Try not to take full advantage.

-Respect when I tell you up front I want a family. Not right this second, don’t you dare try to knock me up on the first date. This was a very recent epiphany for me.

-Respect that my family and friends are as important as I say. If you don’t understand how important they are, then bugger off. We will not get along. Please god, have your own friends and family you love and want to be around too. If you are a loner and expect me to fill your social void, then I am not the lady of your dreams.

-Believe me when I say this- I don’t think money is the most important thing on this earth. The people in our lives, and how we make them feel, that’s what matters. Yes, we need money. I’m not a complete loon. But if money is so important to you that you would choose to earn a silly amount of money instead of making a home with me… next!

-I know I am in no way perfect, so don’t expect me to be. I fuck up, and say the wrong thing. I know this. I’ll try not to tell you what you’ve done wrong over and over again, so would you do the same?

-Do not try to dominate me. Some people see me as a challenge. They want to “conquer” a strong willed, opinionated woman. I am not a prize to be won, and hung over your mantle piece to be shared with your friends. I know relationships cannot always be equal, but hopefully they are strong where I am weak. There can be give and take. Do not try to stick a flag in me and claim me as yours.

-I like to eat food in bed. Yes, that means there may be crumbs. Buy me a mini vac. This may seem like it has no place in this, but since I’m pointing out all the things I don’t want… if this is a deal breaker, than so be it!

-I would suck at being a “kept” woman, so please don’t think I want to ever be one. (Kept = trophy wife)

- DO NOT under any circumstance think opening a conversation with a line like, “Lemme talk at you for a minute.” Or, “ Guuurl lemme holla atchu!” will work in your favor. Do not speak to me like I’m an object, and if your personality is anything like a guy who whistles at chicks from the construction site that is his very personality…efff off. I mean that in the nicest way possible.

-       You don’t have to like all the same things I do. Please, please, PLEASE like stuff I don’t. Push me outside my comfort zone. I really hope you feel the same way.

           

- I want someone who still believes in romance. Believes in fighting for a relationship. Believes in soul mates, and that love can last a lifetime.

-       I want someone who will understand sometimes I breakdown. I can be vulnerable. I’m not strong all the time, and sometimes I need someone to just be there. Don’t try to fix me, just be there.

- Love me for being a dreamer. For wearing rose colored glasses, and wanting to believe the best in people. You don’t have to think the way I do, love me for not being just like you. I hope you have dreams too. I hope we can accomplish some of our dreams together. I know that sounds all kinds of corny, bite me.

- I’ll love you the way I love all the people who are important. Wholeheartedly, passionately, willingly. I will try to listen and to be present. I’ll try not to talk over you, and be there for you when you need me. I will fight for us.

I feel like those are the bigger points. You may have noticed I never specified looks, or gender. That’s because I believe we fall in love with so much more than the way a person looks, or if they happen to be a man or a woman. I’ve loved more than one person, and they didn’t all look the same, (ok, I might have a thing for blonde blue eyed guys, but I grew up in California and those dudes are a dime a dozen!).

I want what I think everyone wants- someone to be there with them through all of it, to experience life by their side. Someone who loves me on the good days and the bad, and won’t judge me for the flaws that make me me. I want someone I can love for the way they were built. I want to not need them, but to want them.

I may live in a fantasy world now that I reread what I wrote here. Whatever. I’ve heard music play in my head when I’ve fallen in love before. Who’s to say I won’t find that again, for the rest of my days?