Why she's my game changer

            This isn’t a crazy lesbian love story; so get your head out of the gutter people. I consider this woman one of the loves of my life.

            I met her a few years back, at a bar people hang out at back home. I had one of those total movie moments, when I saw her across the patio and just knew I needed to talk to her. I didn’t leave her side the entire night, even though I was there with friends. I even stole a kiss, (no shame in my game people!). She’s beautiful, intelligent, witty and sarcastic.  I remember thinking I didn’t want to lose touch with her, even though she lived in Santa Cruz, and I lived in San Diego.

            We did lose touch, fell into serious relationships. We didn’t find each other again until those relationships were coming to a close. I was at one of the lowest stages in my life thus far. I was hurt and scared, angry and completely lost. Lucky for me at that point, we became almost inseparable.

            I can’t tell you how comforting it was to wake up next to someone who didn’t judge me when she found me crying, she just rubbed my back and told me she loved me. We badmouthed our exes together, took each other on the dates we were never taken on, had movie marathons, sleep overs, and hit the town together. We could sit in silence, reading or just laying about, and were completely comfortable.

            That’s when it finally hit me. We were two people who got each other. We loved each other for all our flaws, and all we were that was good. I realized this is what love is supposed to be. We made each other better. She’s my realist, my sounding board, my muse. I push her to loosen the reins, be crazy, cry it out. We make each other better versions of ourselves.

            Here’s the funny thing- we don’t agree on everything. I like going out more than she does. She likes taking her dog to the dog park, I loathe the dog park. She can watch marathons of SVU, and I’d rather watch marathons of chick flicks and Disney movies all while singing along. I love the heat, she loves the cold.  I love sports, she considers sporting events like going through water torture. She smokes, I don’t. She has style, I look like a hippie’s worst nightmare, all patterns and colors. We are not a perfect fit. We happen to have lots in common as well. It just works. When it does, it really is easy.

            When I feel lost, she reminds me to dream, and when she gets too into her head, I help pull her out again. She reminds me my fears drive me to be better. I remind her wearing rose-colored glasses to see the world can be liberating. We work, because we care about each other, and we try. We’ve invested in one another emotionally.

            No, we have never been together that way. Don’t get me wrong, I love her to the moon and back, and am very attracted to her. It’s just not what we’re about. She’s the Robin to my Ted, (yes, that’s a HIMYM reference). I could name the reasons we wouldn’t work as a couple, the biggest one being this- I love her as one of my best friends. We won’t cross that threshold because we don’t need to.

            This last Valentine’s Day I played her a song by John Legend called “All of me”. I told her she was the first person I thought of when I heard the lyrics. They start with, “What would I do with out your smart mouth, drawing me in and you kicking me out?... What’s going on in that beautiful mind? I’m on your magical mystery ride.” She really is everything he speaks of in that song to me. She reminded me who I was, and reminded me to be brave. She’s never asked me to be anything other than myself. She’s loved me at my lowest, and my greatest. The best part is I love her the exact same way. When you love someone, the sun rises and sets with them. It’s not perfect, but it doesn’t have to be.

She taught me what loving someone truly was. When I find my person, I’ll get it. That’s why she’s my game changer.

“I’d rather fight with you than make love with anyone else” – The Wedding Date