Saturday, April 26, 2014

Liberating ourselves- a mini rant about being a woman

            What makes a woman a woman? This is a topic that royally pisses me off, I won’t lie about it. Why you ask?

-EXPECTATION VS. REALITY-
           
            I could go on the typical rant about how social media is ruining women’s expectations of themselves, (I happen to agree for the most part) but I won’t. The subject has been beaten to death. Moral of the story- take it all with a grain of salt. No, I take more issue with women. Yep, you freakin’ heard me.        

            We could change the conversation ourselves. We could decide we won’t starve ourselves to reach a stupid ideal, which in truth isn’t really an ideal most men and women find attractive. We could decide we like video games, science, math, nerdy stuff, wearing what we want, doing what we want. We allow the braces on our brains, choosing to follow what we’re told like cattle.

            It’s like we don’t even bother to look back and see how much we have evolved, from being given away with Dowry’s attached, (I’ll throw in a cow and two sheep if you take this girl as your wife!) to woman being astronauts, physicists, leaders of countries. We treat the examples I’ve given as anomalies, create differences and barriers that do not exist.

            COMPLIMENTS- I’m going to point the finger at myself now. I still get an eye-twitch if I’m given a compliment, especially if it’s about my looks. Words like beautiful, exotic, pretty, all evoke a knee-jerk reaction to refute said compliment. Wtf is up with that?! This is a dumb social norm I allow myself to follow.  Listen, I’m no 10, but I’m not barking either. So why not take a compliment with grace, even if it’s only given from someone trying to get into my knickers, (hey- that ish still counts)? I do this because I’m worried they will think I’m full of myself, they might think I stare longingly in the mirror for hours admiring my cheekbones… or whatever the hell one would admire if she sat in front of the mirror for hours. Why do I care? So now I’m trying to say thank you, instead of telling them I’m anything but beautiful.  Ok, I still pull faces when anyone says these things to me, but I’m tryin’ here.

            SEX- I am a sexual person, (holy shit- she admitted that out loud!).  It’s dumb that our male counter parts are allowed to talk about sex, how much they like it, how much they have it, how much they want to have it. I don’t go around pointing at people and saying, “I’d bang that. That too. Oh- I’m taking that home with me…” It happens to not really be my style. The bullshit dance, acting like the attraction isn’t there, and the woman being expected to be the smart one and want to wait… I. Hate. That. Sometimes, I just want to give the cookies, and get the cookies. Why the hell does it matter? As long as we women understand if we give them away early, chances are we won’t be talking to that dude later. Also, doing this quickly with another woman can lead to matching jammies and a cat, but whatever. I’m super up front and honest with whomever I am talking to, dating, at the time. “So, I kinda wanna jump your bones.” They say honesty is the best policy.

            MORE SEX- One more poke at sex, (haha) then I’ll move on. Why don’t we figure out what we like? Missionary sucks. Knowing your own body, what turns you on and off, what kind of partner you like, do you like talking, pinching, nibbling? Are you self sufficient, or do you want a partner? Outfits, toys? Are you an exhibitionist? Fan of PDA? Do you need a back rub, the oven warmed, candles and poetry? Doing a dead fish impression is not cool, and every one I’ve ever talked to on this subject finds it so sexy when their partner can tell them what they want. This does not make you a slut. It makes you a liberated thinker. You should know your own topography, and how to navigate it. Just so you know, anyone who would think knowing what you like makes you a slut is just intimidated because all they know how to do is hump like a Chihuahua. Ladies- know thyself.

           
            FASHION-This is a really cool time for fashion, the new and the old being mixed together to make for interesting patterns and choices. Why conform to one? Know what works for your body, and rock it out luv! I happen to enjoy dressing mostly like a jock,  (spandex anyone?) but 50’s style dresses that bell out from the waist do great things for my figure. Why are we so self-conscious? I feel very sexy when I wear my American Apparel dresses, (similar to being human sausage in one of those) and wearing towering heels. Yes, I enjoy the looks I get- I work damn hard to look the way I do. So what? If you’re happy in a potato sack, who gives a rip what Joe Schmoe has to say about it? It’s his loss. Your hair and make up too. Eye liner makes you feel snazzy? Hoop earrings some extra pep in your step? Finger curls give you class? Do eeeet.

            FLY YOUR FREAK FLAG- Do you dress up your cats? Play world of warcraft? Know the difference between DC and Marvel? Maybe you can name different fashion designers, have an amazing shoe collection, collect antique coins? Dudes are allowed to have man caves full of collectibles from their childhoods, why can’t women do something similar? Listen- what the hell are we so afraid of? I happen to know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, love classic Hollywood musicals, full of useless factoids, and can quote Shakespeare. I find these things interesting, so I’ve learned more about them. I’m not afraid of the looks I get when I wear my star wars leggings, quote Puck the Mischievous fairy, or giggle with delight when I hear a Gene Kelly reference. To each their own.

            WHAT YOU WANT- Do you want to be a mum, travel the world, explore space? Maybe teach history, be a criminal lawyer, play professional sports? Women can do all of these things, doing one or the other, or several at once. Doing any one of these things does not make you any more of less of a woman. Be honest with your self about your expectations. When you honor yourself, the people around you will do the same. Those who disagree don’t really love you as you are in the first place. 

            Loving you as you are built instills confidence, which then attracts people to you. Honesty in what you expect and want to be is such a freeing experience. The parts that make up the person you are, happen to be yours to own and treasure, honor and enjoy. You are a woman, powerful and beautiful. You are a layered person, with so many different things going for you. You are not one-dimensional by any means. So own that, and earn it. We could run the world you know, we just have to take it. So, start with yourself. Once you get a grasp on you, and we all start doing it… ruh roh.

            

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