What makes
a woman a woman? This is a topic that royally pisses me off, I won’t lie about
it. Why you ask?
-EXPECTATION VS.
REALITY-
I could go on the typical rant about
how social media is ruining women’s expectations of themselves, (I happen to
agree for the most part) but I won’t. The subject has been beaten to death.
Moral of the story- take it all with a grain of salt. No, I take more issue
with women. Yep, you freakin’ heard me.
We could
change the conversation ourselves. We could decide we won’t starve ourselves to
reach a stupid ideal, which in truth isn’t really an ideal most men and women
find attractive. We could decide we like video games, science, math, nerdy
stuff, wearing what we want, doing what we want. We allow the braces on our brains,
choosing to follow what we’re told like cattle.
It’s like
we don’t even bother to look back and see how much we have evolved, from being
given away with Dowry’s attached, (I’ll throw in a cow and two sheep if you
take this girl as your wife!) to woman being astronauts, physicists, leaders of
countries. We treat the examples I’ve given as anomalies, create differences
and barriers that do not exist.
COMPLIMENTS-
I’m going to point the finger at myself now. I still get an eye-twitch if I’m
given a compliment, especially if it’s about my looks. Words like beautiful,
exotic, pretty, all evoke a knee-jerk reaction to refute said compliment. Wtf
is up with that?! This is a dumb social norm I allow myself to follow. Listen, I’m no 10, but I’m not barking
either. So why not take a compliment with grace, even if it’s only given from
someone trying to get into my knickers, (hey- that ish still counts)? I do this
because I’m worried they will think I’m full of myself, they might think I
stare longingly in the mirror for hours admiring my cheekbones… or whatever the
hell one would admire if she sat in front of the mirror for hours. Why do I
care? So now I’m trying to say thank you, instead of telling them I’m anything
but beautiful. Ok, I still pull faces
when anyone says these things to me, but I’m tryin’ here.
SEX- I am a
sexual person, (holy shit- she admitted that out loud!). It’s dumb that our male counter parts are
allowed to talk about sex, how much they like it, how much they have it, how
much they want to have it. I don’t go around pointing at people and saying,
“I’d bang that. That too. Oh- I’m taking that home with me…” It happens to not
really be my style. The bullshit dance, acting like the attraction isn’t there,
and the woman being expected to be the smart one and want to wait… I. Hate.
That. Sometimes, I just want to give the cookies, and get the cookies. Why the
hell does it matter? As long as we women understand if we give them away early,
chances are we won’t be talking to that dude later. Also, doing this quickly
with another woman can lead to matching jammies and a cat, but whatever. I’m
super up front and honest with whomever I am talking to, dating, at the time.
“So, I kinda wanna jump your bones.” They say honesty is the best policy.
MORE SEX- One
more poke at sex, (haha) then I’ll move on. Why don’t we figure out what we
like? Missionary sucks. Knowing your own body, what turns you on and off, what
kind of partner you like, do you like talking, pinching, nibbling? Are you self
sufficient, or do you want a partner? Outfits, toys? Are you an exhibitionist?
Fan of PDA? Do you need a back rub, the oven warmed, candles and poetry? Doing
a dead fish impression is not cool, and every one I’ve ever talked to on this
subject finds it so sexy when their partner can tell them what they want. This
does not make you a slut. It makes you a liberated thinker. You should know
your own topography, and how to navigate it. Just so you know, anyone who would
think knowing what you like makes you a slut is just intimidated because all
they know how to do is hump like a Chihuahua. Ladies- know thyself.
FASHION-This
is a really cool time for fashion, the new and the old being mixed together to
make for interesting patterns and choices. Why conform to one? Know what works
for your body, and rock it out luv! I happen to enjoy dressing mostly like a
jock, (spandex anyone?) but 50’s style
dresses that bell out from the waist do great things for my figure. Why are we
so self-conscious? I feel very sexy when I wear my American Apparel dresses,
(similar to being human sausage in one of those) and wearing towering heels.
Yes, I enjoy the looks I get- I work damn hard to look the way I do. So what?
If you’re happy in a potato sack, who gives a rip what Joe Schmoe has to say
about it? It’s his loss. Your hair and make up too. Eye liner makes you feel
snazzy? Hoop earrings some extra pep in your step? Finger curls give you class?
Do eeeet.
FLY YOUR
FREAK FLAG- Do you dress up your cats? Play world of warcraft? Know the
difference between DC and Marvel? Maybe you can name different fashion
designers, have an amazing shoe collection, collect antique coins? Dudes are
allowed to have man caves full of collectibles from their childhoods, why can’t
women do something similar? Listen- what the hell are we so afraid of? I happen
to know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, love classic Hollywood
musicals, full of useless factoids, and can quote Shakespeare. I find these
things interesting, so I’ve learned more about them. I’m not afraid of the
looks I get when I wear my star wars leggings, quote Puck the Mischievous
fairy, or giggle with delight when I hear a Gene Kelly reference. To each their
own.
WHAT YOU
WANT- Do you want to be a mum, travel the world, explore space? Maybe teach
history, be a criminal lawyer, play professional sports? Women can do all of
these things, doing one or the other, or several at once. Doing any one of
these things does not make you any more of less of a woman. Be honest with your
self about your expectations. When you honor yourself, the people around you
will do the same. Those who disagree don’t really love you as you are in the
first place.
Loving you
as you are built instills confidence, which then attracts people to you. Honesty
in what you expect and want to be is such a freeing experience. The
parts that make up the person you are, happen to be yours to own and treasure,
honor and enjoy. You are a woman, powerful and beautiful. You are a layered
person, with so many different things going for you. You are not
one-dimensional by any means. So own that, and earn it. We could run the world
you know, we just have to take it. So, start with yourself. Once you get a
grasp on you, and we all start doing it… ruh roh.
No comments:
Post a Comment