push, pull.

I push. You pull away. I ask questions. I stay open.

Over and over. It's the definition of insanity. I never feel good enough, or smart enough or...

I wonder if they'll ever want me the way I want them. Will I ever be enough, enough?

All I have to offer, I still push, they still pull.

I look in the mirror- reflect back all of my flaws. How unwanted I feel. I can't see past myself. My mistakes, my missteps. I can't see the flaw may be in you.

Push. Push. Push.

Why can't I pull? It takes me too long. I have to have nothing left. I still can't. Me offering you space with me, doesn't mean I'm not scared. I'm fucking terrified.

No pull, all push.

I feel so tired, emotionally hung over. Still, I can't hear you anymore. I can't hear any of them anymore.

At some point I can't push anymore. I can't beat myself up anymore. I can't feel for you, when you can't feel for me.

Pull. Pull. Pull.