This is not the life I would have chosen for myself.
Which in truth, would mean I chose poorly. I have loved and lost so much in this unchosen path. I couldn't be happier with the result of all of it. I'm not saying I didn't have influence- my choices define who stands here now. Whether it's truly destiny, divine intervention, I don't know. I've always trusted there's something bigger out there than me.
There are things I still want. Things I hope for, long for. Things I'll strive to deserve.
The biggest thing I think I've learned, is it's okay- it's okay I don't know where I'll end up. It's ok I have no idea if I'll meet or even know my true partner. It's more than okay my soulmates are my friends- they know me better than anyone else, and can attest to how hard it is to break through with me in the first place. It's okay I get depressed, just as much as it's okay when I'm incandescently happy. It's okay I still am afraid, and okay when I'm feeling myself and full of confidence.
I'm not broken, just dented. Not perfect, just striving. I'm not special, just me.
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