I’m just
old enough to remember making phone dates. When a friend or even a love
interest would pre-arrange a time to talk. I’d sit next to the phone, idly
playing with the extra long phone cord, (which we got because my mother and I
like the pace as we talk) waiting in anticipation. The phone would ring, and
the delight I would feel when I heard the other persons voice. There was
something very lovely about it- about having to wait to hear from someone else.
Then there would be time, time we couldn’t talk to one another. The absence was
something that was accepted. We weren’t constantly accessible.
Who else
remembers AOL messaging? Listening to your DSL dial up, and watching that
little guy jog, (he never ran) across the screen. That was the next step, being
able to chat with your friends, or even strangers. We went from that to
MySpace, both being applications I wasn’t allowed to use. So I lived
vicariously through my friends instead.
Now here we
are, in an age when there are far too many ways to reach out to someone. For pete’s sake, we’re all Facebook friends,
following each other on Instagram or Twitter, we can email and text too. Actually picking up a phone is a rarity-
something if suggested is met with odd looks. Because of all of this, we’ve become
selfish beasts who lack patience. If things don’t happen on our good time, when
we think it’s convenient, then it’s not the right time at all. “I texted them
.5 seconds ago! How dare they take their sweet time to text me back?!” “ I sent that job application a week ago…” “I
wonder how long they’re gonna take answering that email…”. Don’t act like I’m
the only one admitting I have these kinds of completely irrational thoughts,
like I’m the only person with these faults.
We are
given instant gratification on so many levels. Communication is suffering.
Listening to the inflections in someone’s voice, feeling the heat come off them
because they’re close... how often do we do that? We aren’t even allowed to miss anyone because all we have
to do is go onto one social media or another to see what they’re doing. It’s
deemed socially acceptable to text all hours of the day or night, and having to
constantly account for where we are and what we are doing. Heaven forbid there is space between messages,
it must mean they don’t want to talk to me. Truthfully, most of the time it has
nothing to do with us. They may be working, speaking to someone else, or just
not want to talk. Where do we get off, thinking the world revolves around us?
I hate
texting in so many ways. Yes, it’s convenient. The failing of it is I can’t
hear them. I mean really hear them. I had to tell a friend recently I didn’t
want to text with them when I was emotional anymore. All I did was hear all my
fears play out while reading their words, my insecurities sprang up, and I was
getting angry. It wasn’t them at all- it was me. I was projecting. I needed to
look into their eyes, hear them and see them. I needed human interaction. It’s
all becoming lost. The art of speaking, of body language, of true friendship
and courtship are being lost.
I’m guilty.
I’m calling myself out here. I’m on social media, like most people are. I enjoy
seeing what my friends and family are up to, love searching pictures on
Instagram, reading funny posts and tweets. I don’t want to be guilty anymore. I
want to miss you. I don’t want to know what you are up to all the time. Seriously- all of you. I think there are
healthier boundaries to be made. I’m thankful in so many ways for all of this
technology. I can write things like this and put them out into the void,
knowing someone will read it. There are
pros and cons to all of this accessibility right at our fingertips, I'm not gonna sit here and list them, you know as well as I do. I’m
choosing to take my electronic leash off now and again, to not give it so much
power. I’m choosing to practice more patience with people, and myself. I want the relationships I build to have
substance, not just conversations filled with emojis, and no real emotion.
I don’t
want to fit in a box when communication is concerned. We all communicate so
differently- I’d like to think I’m a damn good communicator, attentive and
consistent. Maybe to others, I am not. How will we know, how will I know, if we
don’t- I don’t know… talk about our communication styles? Instead we say
nothing. It’s easier to say and do nothing, instead of correcting any kind of
misunderstanding. It’s expectation versus reality.
I choose to
change it, to change the conversation. What’s your move?
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