different.

You are different. I can feel it when I stand near you. I can hear it in the lilt of your voice, and see it when you look at me. It's not the same flutter I've felt in my stomach before- the swoop and drop of anticipation. This feels more like satisfaction.

We're both afraid, so afraid- but just imagine the possibility. What if?

I look back and wonder at the ones who came before. Could they have been there, place holders for this? My rose colored glasses are firmly fixed upon my face, my fear bubbles under the surface, and yet I still wonder- did she break my heart to lead me to you? Time will answer these questions. Nothing but time. The great healer, decider, and taker- time.

Words are easy, actions are hard. I don't want easy words- please don't tell me what you think I want to hear. I couldn't handle the thought of you not meaning what you say- I've been there too often before. There are too many broken promises and lies left behind me as it is.

I don't want to fast forward, I don't want to miss any of it- because of your difference. It isn't exotic- no. It isn't lust- though you must know I'm attracted to you. It's... I can't find the words. I'll patiently wait instead, find them as they come.

I'm listening to my body this time. It's at peace near you. I've known nothing but turmoil for so long. Discomfort and sadness, aching and loneliness. Then there was space, then you.

And now we wait to see if difference is what it takes.